Lonely

I'm tired of feeling so fucking lonely. Why don't I have any friends? 

Father's Day

Another bittersweet day for me. I'm so happy I have a wonderful husband who is a great hands-on father to our little girl. And I am very thankful to have a father in law who loves out daughter with his whole heart. 

But I do miss my papa something fierce. 

And this year, I'm also sad because of the rift I'm finding Jb my relationship with an uncle that I used to be so close to. I'm not used to mourning the loss of a relationship with a person who is still living. I'm my sure I know how to deal with that. For now, I'm just going to hold onto hope that one day we will be able to mend our relationship so he can be a part of C's life as she grows up. 

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there!

Three Day Weekend

Today is my Friday. Tomorrow, I will be celebrating my two year anniversary with Mr. Norry (actual anni is 6/8). I am so, so excited to spend some time, BABY FREE, with my husband! 

I am excited to sleep in, and eat breakfast slowly, and drink my coffee while it's still hot. I am ridiculously excited to go to a restaurant without having to wrestle my toddler, or keep her entertained during the inevitably long wait. I am over the moon excited to watch a movie in an actual movie theater. 

Sometimes I think that normal people do not get so excited over these types of things. 

Then again, I never claimed to be normal. 

Happy Weekend! 

Family

Very recently I've had the chance to examine what family is. I always thought all I needed was my mom. She was the strongest, most independent woman that I had ever met. All my life, she did everything it took to take care of me, take care of us. And I just knew that when she died, I would die too. I would just lay down and give up. 

And then she died. My world was torn apart. 

But I didn't. I didn't die because I have my own daughter to take care of. And even though some days I think I WANT to die, I can't. I have to be the best mother I can, I have to give my daughter the gift that my mom gave me: love, independence, security. I have to be that person who will always be there for her no matter what. 

This is a hard road. It's cold, and often lonely. But I know my mom would want me to keep going, keep pushing forward. For her. For me. For Cora.