Ah, New Years Eve, we meet again

Well, here we are. Another year is coming to a close. And what a year it's been. 2012 has been such a bittersweet year. There are some things I would change, if it were up to me. The first, obviously, would be the loss of my mother. My mother passed away on November 30th of this year. It has changed my life forever. I will never be the same person, and although it's already been a whole month, I feel like I'm still in disbelief. It hurts every minute of every day. Even though I lost my father when I was 16, the loss of my mom is a whole different animal. I can't imagine the pain ever fading, but I know it will, someday. And still, I push on. I push on because I have this beautiful little girl to take care of, the one thing I would definitely NOT change about 2012, the birth of Cora. She has changed my life (already!) in ways that I never could have predicted or imagined. I love her so much.

There's not much else to say. Good things happened this year, I got married, moved into a house, and had my baby girl. But we had our share of struggles, and I would be lying if I tried to say I wasn't happy that 2012 was ending. I'm ready, as I always am on NYE, to move forward. I'm ready to put the pain of the past and the bad memories behind me, if possible.

Bring it on 2013. We're ready for you. Things can only get better from here!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Warning: this may be sappy. Deal with it.

Today is Thanksgiving and I have much to be thankful for this year. For one, I am thankful for my wonderful husband who has (so far) stood by my crazy ass through everything. I am also incredibly thankful for my family, but especially my mom who is not only a huge help but so supportive of every choice we make. I'm happy and thankful that we live in a house even if we rent, and we now have space for our dog to run and we live in a much quieter neighborhood now. Last but definitely not least, I'm thankful for my gorgeous, sweet baby girl, who we waited so long for. She was definitely worth the wait!

So, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there in the interwebz! May your day be happy and full of family (if you like 'em), friends (if you've got 'em), food and fun!

I leave you with a picture, because, why not?

Seriously, Bump?

I cannot believe that The Bump decided to do it's maintenance NOW. Don't they know that I'm up with a newborn baby and I need entertainment?!

I guess I'll go read a book or sumshit.

/endrant. 

One month old

Where has the time gone?! I cannot believe that a month ago today, I was in the hospital in labor. I can't believe that my baby is already a month old today! I can already see changes in how she looks and see changes in her personality. She's more alert and awake now (and NOT always crying while awake, yay!). She also smiles in her sleep more. I can't wait until we get a real, genuine social smile. I'm holding out for it! Here is my beautiful girl as of yesterday:

Dear Santa:

If I were going to send Santa a Christmas wishlist, or a letter, it would read something like this:

Dear Santy-Clause,

All I want for Christmas is a full night of sleep. Just one night of glorious, uninterrupted, sleep. I don't want a new Coach purse, or boots, or new clothes. Just sleep.

Well, I'd also like to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans again. Preferably before Christmas Day. Can you make that happen?

Thanks!
One exhausted, chubby mama

Gawd, I'm exhausted. My kid decided she only wanted to sleep from 1:30 am-2:15 am last night. What the shit is that about?!! Now, I'm walking around (okay, sitting on my couch) like a zombie, and she's snoozing away. Oh, and that advice they give you to "sleep when the baby sleeps, nap when the baby naps"? Complete bullshit. I just can't turn my brain off. Bullshit, I tell ya.

/rant over.

Halloween

So, we survived our first Halloween as a family of three. And really, how bad could it have been with a three week old? She slept most of the evening away, in her adorable skeleton sleeper. I mean, who can resist this?:

It was a chill night. We hung out, I made caramel apples and hot apple cider, and Matt cooked a roast on the grill (YUM!). My mom and cousin Sandra came to hang out and watch "Monster House" with us. Unfortunately (fortunately?) we didn't get any trick or treaters. Not ONE! I have to say, I was disappointed. For some reason, I was really looking forward to handing out candy. In my mind, that makes us 'real' grown ups (because, being married and having a baby doesn't count, lol. It's all about passing out Halloween candy!) Oh well, maybe next year.
All in all, it was a pretty good night! And hey, at least I got some cute pictures out of it!

Matt, Cora and I:
His pumpkin was a zombie crawling out of the grave or something, mine was two pumpkins stacked on top of each other, and C's was a baby jack o' lantern. 

C and her side-kick, Betty:
They matched! We found the dog costume at Target, and the skeleton sleeper at Carter's.

The way I hoped to end my night:
She stayed this way for approximately...10 minutes. And then? She woke up and screamed for about 3 hours. Fun stuff!

Pumpkin Patch

Finally, it's my favorite time of year. I love, love, LOVE the time between Halloween and New Year's. I love each of the holidays, the food, the weather, and especially the fun activities!

I am doubly excited this year, because I have an adorable little cuddly baby to share everything with. Granted, she has no idea what the hell is going on at any given time, but it's fun (for me at least!).

So, last weekend we decided to take C to the pumpkin patch in Clayton. We went with my in laws, who were nice enough to man the camera while M and I posed awkwardly in front of pumpkins and giant pumpkin cut-outs. We had a pretty awesome time, if I do say so myself. Bonus? C was an angel who slept through everything, even lunch afterward.

Aforementioned giant pumpkin cut-out:

 The fruits of our labor:

What C did during said pumpkin carving:

Welcome Cora Grace :)

Sorry it's been so long! I know you are all dying to know where I've been...Well, I've been having a baby! I won't bore you with the details, the story gets quite long winded, but Cora Grace entered the world on October 9th, 2012 at 7:20 pm. She weighed 6lbs, 2oz and was 19 inches long. She is pure baby perfection. I never thought I could feel so much love for such a little person, but there it is. Everything is going well so far, she eats, sleeps and poops, lol, so we're right on track. We couldn't be happier. 

 Now, for the goods:

This isn't funny anymore.

Dear Baby,

Please come out now. I'd really like the ability to roll over without huffing and puffing, stand up without grunting, and pee without having to lean forward to "get it all out".

With love,
Your exhausted mom to be

Baby Watch 2012 has begun...

Seriously. I'm only 36 weeks, and already I have daily texts of "did you have that baby yet?!"
...No, and thank you for reminding me that I'm still uncomfortably pregnant! I'm not even term yet, people.

This could get old, fast.

Is this thing (still) on?

WOW! It's been a long time. I'm kind of ashamed to even be writing this post because it's been 7 months (7 months!) since I've written in this blog. I know, I kind of suck at blogging. I can accept that. But in my defense...life has been so crazy! So much has been going on lately...Where do I start? In the last seven months I have:

1. Moved
2. Gotten married
3. Graduated
4. Been hugely pregnant
5. Worked my butt off

!!! Between getting ready for this baby, getting settled in our new home, getting married, and working, I've been BEAT! I never thought I could feel soverytired in my life...and I know the best of that is to come, in a about 4 weeks!

I'm gonna have a baby in 4 weeks. EEK. I never thought I'd be saying (er, typing) that. It feels insane. But I'm so happy, and I wouldn't change anything. And now...Some pictures!

Life.Is.INSANE!

So I haven't written in a while and I have to admit I feel pretty guilty...but there's been so much going on! Between school two days a week, working full time, and doing my new internship two days a week as well, I'm lucky to have time to catch up on my book club book, not to even mention keeping up with homework!

I'm happy to report that all is going well (for the most part)....School is school, lol it's going good but it's hard! Work just kinda sucks like always but there that is...and my internship is so awesome, what would make it perfect would be if it were only paid! But I keep telling myself this mantra: It will all be worth it in the end. I have to believe that.

Or I'd lose my damn mind.

SockMonkeySam and Family

Today is the memorial service and wake for a little boy named Zachary who died at 3 months old, late last week. He was the rainbow baby of one of the girls on the website The Bump, which I frequent, who I've never "met" and didn't know, but their story touched me deeply.

Today, my thoughts and prayers go out to Amye and her family. I can only say prayers for their strength and comfort on this difficult day.

If anybody is out there reading this, please say a little prayer for Amye and her family.

My Newest Obession

Can I just say I just discovered Adele (I'm late to the game, I know) and I LOVE her! She's such a great singer and she sings with such soul. I love it.

Right now I'm in love with "Set Fire to the Rain". I can't stop listening to it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBcMKwbMEcQ

(Sorry I don't know how to make it clicky)

Amen...Finals are OVER!

You read that right...Finals are over! Thank you sweet baby Jesus! I made it through. This has been by far one of the hardest quarters of school I've ever gone through (and it was only two classes!) I can't honestly imagine how I'd have made it through the last three months if I had more than two classes. I am so happy, I'm literally breathing a sigh of relief (as much as I can breathe through my very congested nose)

I'm so excited to start the next quarter, if only because it's my LAST ONE! That's right, in just about three months time, I will be a college graduate! I'm so, so excited, and more than a little proud of myself. Through all of the struggles I've had in the last 4 years, I am still managing to graduate. And I'm actually contemplating staying on to finish my AA, so I can have a dual degree. I figure, I might as well while I'm still motivated! It's only six more classes, that's nothing. And having that extra degree will open me up to so many other opportunities. It's exciting.

So that's my exciting news for the day. Other than that, I'm still sick, currently got my butt parked on the couch in PJs waiting on M to get home in a few hours for an evening of dinner, movies and cuddling. Sounds like heaven to me!

UGH Sickness!

So I woke up this morning after 10 hours of sleep (yay me for sleeping early when I started feeling bad last night!)...and I'm sick! Sore throat, headache, body ache. It sucks. Thank god I don't have a temperature (I would be very upset should my temping be thrown off!).

I just want to lay back down and not get up. I feel so crappy, and I feel down and I just don't want to deal with anything today. Unfortunately, I have to go to work tonight, so that's not an option. I hate that I still work somewhere where calling in sick isn't an option. I can't wait until I finish school, so I can start looking for another job where I can have actual sick days, and vacation days, and benefits! God, I'm looking forward to the benefits. But in order to get a job like this, I have to finish school...which I'll never do if I don't go. I feel bad for skipping school today, but I really don't want to spread this sickness. This sucks...

Hopefully this day passes quickly so that I can enjoy my two days off!

Emotions

I hate emotions! Can I just say that out loud for a minute? I feel like it's taboo to admit that. My emotions have been everywhere this week, and I can't handle it. I'm so, so tired of not understanding why I'm all of the sudden mad, or crying. I want to be able to take a break, I want to shut off my emotions. I'm tired, I'm so tired.


Can I take a break from being me for a little while? Pretty please?
No? Okay.

Rant over.

New Year, New Look?

So I know this is like my fourth blog entry, but I'm still trying to decide how I want this blog to look. I really would like it to be a reflection of me: fun and kind of "trendy" but still unique, with just enough color. You know, simple, right?! I really liked the owl template I had but I didn't like the font of the text and I'm not tech savvy enough to know how to edit the HTML to fix that, lol.

So...Here we are. I like this so for now, zebra stripes it is! I feel kind of silly considering the fact that I don't think anyone even reads this...but a girl can dream!

Well, I'm off to finish my paper that is due tomorrow. Until next time...

Hello 2012

Well...Here we are, 2012! There were many times in the past year that I doubted I would make it this far. Quite a few times I thought I would just lay down and die, that I wouldn't be able to go on. But I was wrong! And I'm glad to be able to say that. I feel proud of myself that I haven't given up yet, not on myself, not on M, and not on life in general.

Now, I'm not big on resolutions. I find that I rarely am able to keep them, I get lazy, I get busy, whatever it may be. But I do have a few things that I want to focus on bettering within the next year. Those things include:

1. Paying off some of our debt. We plan to pay off our credit cards in 2012 (we have one each, but mine is maxed out!)
2. Saving more and spending less. This includes less impulse buying and a lot less eating out! We also really need to buckle down on saving for our wedding.
3. Finishing school! I am really, really close to graduating in April. If I don't fail any classes, or take any more time off, I will graduate college in April. And that is an amazing feeling!

I really hope that we are able to accomplish some of these goals, because that would make me feel really great. As of right now, I'm just trying to focus on that, and I'm putting one foot in front of the other to move forward. I'm trying to remind myself that I'm here on this earth for a reason, so I better not waste my time.